What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize