Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
