How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
