I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
