Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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