In the future we'll all be gay
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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