apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
