dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
