Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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