I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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