Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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