the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
