I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
