What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
