i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
im on a boat
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