I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
