Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize