no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
