Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
