I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Randomize
