So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
