I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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