i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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