One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
