I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
