It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
