idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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