Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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