Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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