Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
