well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
