He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
