i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
