I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
