Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
