i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
