Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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