idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
