Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
