i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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