Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
