Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
