Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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