the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
