she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
