Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
how drunk are you?
Several
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
