Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
