Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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