I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
