I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
