You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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