i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
