Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I got her a Nickelback box set.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
