Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize