he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
