all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
