What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
