I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
