Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
