Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
