We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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