The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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