Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
