and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
