I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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