I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
