i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize