is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
