she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize