Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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