You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
