sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
